The following was written on March 16th. I wanted to post it then but I held back and waited. If this blog is anything, it’s a place for me to look back and remember. Remember the struggles, the joys, the little moment, and the moment these words captured is a moment I don’t want to forget.
Tomorrow’s the big day. The day we find out to what extent will this sweet baby bump will be changing our lives. My gut has been telling me from the very start that something is different, but my mind tells me every pregnancy is different. I expect to find two little souls, but am preparing myself for one. Honestly. At this point I think I’ll be a bit sad if it’s a singleton. I’ve grown to accept the possibility of twins and rather embraced it, though the actuality of it, four beautiful souls to raise under the age of three and a half, it might destroy me. Am I afraid? No. I can do this, be it one, two or three. I can do this. All babies are blessings and our bodies are made to give birth. Over the last few weeks I’ve become passionate about the type of birth I want if it’s multiples. I refuse to believe and accepts modern medicines take on multiples. That it’s something to be feared and treated like a disease. I can do this. I can carry twins to full term and birth them naturally. I can fight for the birth I want, regardless of how many babies I may be carrying. I will not fear this beautiful sacred process.
Tomorrow, is the defining moment. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.
A week later, standing firmly in the camp of confirmed mother of twins, I can say with confidence that the words typed hastily late at night on March 16th still resonate just as strongly, if not moreso now. Thank you Lord for this most gracious blessing!