Genevieve has attended many vigils in her short life. We take her every time there is a service barring we are not ill. We do what we can to make it comfortable for her so that she will not resent going. We bring blankets and allow her to sleep on the floor at my feet or I wear her in a wrap. We take walks outside if she is feeling a bit talkative and is disturbing others. Usually we are able to get through most if not all of the service without much trouble (crying, talking etc…) but every once in a while we have nights where we spend more time outside walking than inside praying. Tonight was one of those nights.
Our church is very small and any noise from Genevieve (the only baby) echoes through the entire place. It’s very distracting for our priest as well as the other parishioners, so whenever Genevieve starts getting loud we head outside for some fresh air until she calms down. Tonight, at one point, she yelled so loud, from outside, that the choir started chuckling nervously. I was only told this after the service was over. She was tired and hungry and couldn’t decide was what more important. Moments like that are hard for me, any mom I’m sure. I suppose I have been spoiled though, because in general Genevieve is a very quiet happy baby and this was the first time she’s ever truly screamed while at church, inside or out, except during her baptism and only about the 5th time she’s ever screamed at all. She cries yes, but she’s not a screamer. Tonight, she screamed, one loud long 30 second scream and my mama heart felt like it was breaking. She did fall asleep, 5 minutes before the service ended. You win some, you lose some, tonight we lost but what can you do. Now she’s tucked happily into the wrap, snuggled up close sleeping and all seems right in the world.